Friday 30 March 2018

Eurovision 2018 song reviews (part 3) - Estonia, Iceland, Israel, Russia, San Marino, Serbia.

In this update, I review the top 2 songs in the odds...as well as numbers #40 and #41, so once again, quite the range in terms of quality...

Estonia - Elina Nechayeva - "La Forza"
Semi final: 1
My score: 9/10
Chances of qualifying: 8/10
Can it make the top 10? Yes.
Can it win? Yes.

In a year of national finals not going my way, Estonia's Eesti Laul was a rare exception. La Forza hit my like a truck at first listen and I've been obsessed ever since. With such a powerful studio cut, I was intrigued/concerned to see if she could replicate the same magic live. Turns out, this is even more impressive live, with crystal clear vocals and excellent staging (including a light up dress - my favourite).

Currently one of the main fan favourites (/'fan wanks') of the year, I hope the juries don't tank this like they have past opera entries. Although, I'm hoping Elina's performance will give this the credibility it needs to win jury support. If it can, this could do very well indeed...


Iceland - Ari Ólafsson - "Our Choice"
Semi final: 1
My score: 3/10
Chances of qualifying: 2/10
Can it make the top 10? No way.
Can it win? Absolutely not.

After 2 consecutive (and undeserved, imo) non-qualifiers, it appears that our Icelandic friends are going for the hat trick...because this song is absolute garbage. Despite having possibly the weakest national selection of the year, they still managed to swerve 5 better options by picking this dated mess.

Though admittedly well-sung, that's pretty much the only thing to note here. The song is dated as hell and the lyrics are trite - just your standard, empty call for world peace. It's a shame because Iceland is one of those countries I want to root for, but this year they've made it very difficult...


Israel - Netta - "Toy"
Semi final: 1
My score: 9.5/10
Chances of qualifying: 8/10
Can it make the top 10? Yes.
Can it win? Quite possibly.

Despite the song title, Israel didn't come to play this year. Even Eurovision casuals know about Netta - the official video currently has over 9 million views on youtube, is charting on iTunes in multiple countries and is the top of the odds by a landslide. 

Having delved into her previous work, I was HYPED the moment she won HaKokhav HaBa (A.K.A 'The Next Star' - the Israeli selection show). Once details of the song began to emerge closer to the reveal, I knew we were in for a banger. And what a banger it is; distinctively Netta, distinctively Netta, punchy lyrics, impactful delivery, instant hook, chicken noises - this has it all.


Russia - Julia Samoylova - "I Won't Break"
Semi final: 2
My score: 7.5/10
Chances of qualifying: 8/10
Can it make the top 10? Yes.
Can it win? Oop...maybe ?

Full disclosure: I had very low expectations for this entry once I saw that confirmation that Julia would be returning. I didn't rate 'Flame Is Burning' last year, and I rated Julia's vocal capabilities even less. That said, I was glad to see the Russian delegation stuck to their word in terms of letting Julia represent them this year.

This turned out to be one of the biggest surprises of the year for me. I mean, my expectations were low, her English hasn't exactly improved and her diction certainly hasn't...but this is the kinda basic Sia-esque bop I was waiting for. As long as they beef this the fuck out with an army of [loud] backing singers, this could actually be pretty good in Lisbon...


San Marino - Jessika feat. Jenifer Brening - "Who We Are"
Semi final: 2
My score: 6/10
Chances of qualifying: 1/10
Can it make the top 10? Nope
Can it win? Not a chance in hell...

Ah, San Marino. San Marino remind me of that friend, you know, the one that constantly makes destructive and nonsensical life decisions despite your attempts to steer them on the right path. You know the one. Sometimes it's entertainment (in a cheap 'drama!' sorta way), but most of the time it's just a bit tragic.

San Marino were literally presented with the best chance of them ever getting a top 10 finish (in the form of Sara de Blue's glorious 'Out Of The Twilight'), and what did they do? Fuck it all up, of course. I mean, I can appreciate a trashy white girl rap now and again, but this is pushing it for me...


Serbia - Sanja Ilić & Balkanika - "Nova Deca"
Semi final: 2
My score: 8/10
Chances of qualifying: 5/10
Can it make the top 10? HIGHLY doubt it.
Can it win? No.

From a shit show of a national selection, to one that surpassed all of my expectations. Despite having 17(!) songs in their final (only 2-3 of which were actually good),  Beovizija 2018 was one of the most well-produced, entertaining and enjoyable selections of the year. Of course, it helped that my favourite act won.

Proudly Serbian, unique and spiritual, but also fun and danceable; 'Nova Deca' is an absolute delight and exactly what I want from Serbia at Eurovision. The fact that the act contains 6 people is unfortunate, because the staging could do with a dancer or two (fun fact: the EBU only permits a maximum of 6 people on stage per entry). Regardless, I'm hoping this manages to qualify because it would add a long to the grand final line up, both linguistically and genre-wise.


Updated ranking:

Semi 1 (by chances of qualification)
1. Israel - Netta - "Toy" - 9.5
2. Czech Republic - Mikolas Josef - "Lie To Me" - 8
3. Estonia - Elina Nechayeva - "La Forza" - 8
4. Belgium - SENNEK - "A Matter of Time" - 8
5. Bulgaria - EQUINOX - "Bones" - 7.5
6. Azerbaijan - Aisel - "X My Heart" - 6
7. Belarus - Alekseev - "Forever" - 4.5
8. Albania - Eugent Bushpepa - "Mall" - 4.5
9. Iceland - Ari Ólafsson - "Our Choice"

Semi 2 (by chances of qualification)
1. Norway - Alexander Rybak - "That's How You Write A Song"
*2. Denmark - Rasmussen - "Higher Ground" - 9
*2. The Netherlands - Waylon - "Outlaw In 'Em" - 9
*4. Australia - Jessica Mauboy - "We Got Love" - 8
*4. Russia - Julia Samoylova - "I Won't Break" - 8
6. Moldova - DoReDos - "My Lucky Day" - 7.5
7. Romania - The Humans - "Goodbye" - 6
8. Serbia - Sanja Ilić & Balkanika - "Nova Deca" - 5
9. San Marino - Jessika feat. Jenifer Brening - "Who We Are" - 1

Overall ranking so far (by personal score - ties broken by preference)
1. Israel - Netta - "Toy" - 9.5
2. Estonia - Elina Nechayeva - "La Forza" - 9
3. Belgium - SENNEK - "A Matter of Time" - 9
4. Denmark - Rasmussen - "Higher Ground" - 8.5
5. Bulgaria - EQUINOX - "Bones" - 8
6. Serbia - Sanja Ilić & Balkanika - "Nova Deca" - 8
7. Moldova - DoReDos - "My Lucky Day" - 8
8. Australia - Jessica Mauboy - "We Got Love" - 7.5
9. Azerbaijan - Aisel - "X My Heart" - 7.5
10. Russia - Julia Samoylova - "I Won't Break" - 7.5
11. Albania - Eugent Bushpepa - "Mall" - 7
12. Czech Republic - Mikolas Josef - "Lie To Me" - 7
13. The Netherlands - Waylon - "Outlaw In 'Em" - 6
14. Belarus - Alekseev - "Forever" - 6
15. San Marino - Jessika feat. Jenifer Brening - "Who We Are"
16. Romania - The Humans - "Goodbye" - 4
17. Norway - Alexander Rybak - "That's How You Write A Song" - 3
18. Iceland - Ari Ólafsson - "Our Choice" - 3

Read the rest of my ESC 2018 song reviews:

Friday 23 March 2018

Eurovision 2018 song reviews (part 2) - Belgium, Bulgaria, Czech Republic, The Netherlands, Norway, Romania.

As promised, here is part 2 of my Eurovision reviews, which conveniently features some of my favourite AND least favourite entries of the year, so expect gushing and ranting in equal measure...because I have some feelings...

Belgium - SENNEK - "A Matter of Time"
Semi final: 1
My score: 9/10
Chances of qualifying: 8/10
Can it make the top 10? Yes.
Can it win? Yes

One of my most anticipated internally-selected entries; Belgium have yet again delivered pure QUALITY with their entry - a smooth, warm and smokey Bond theme-esque mid-tempo with the visuals to match. To top it all off, Laura Groeseneken is not only an excellent vocalists, but a downright lovely person AND she works for IKEA - legends only.

Belgium really haven't put a foot wrong for me since 2015, where Loic Nottet marked the start of a near-flawless run of top 10 finishes, including a 4th-place finish with the incredible 'City Lights' last year. Can they continue this trend? I hope so, but this is a much riskier entry then what they usually send and success will be highly depend how they stage it...


Bulgaria - EQUINOX - "Bones"
Semi final: 1
My score: 8/10
Chances of qualifying: 7.5/10
Can it make the top 10? Yes, maybe.
Can it win? I really don't think so.

Speaking of countries with a lot of hype surrounding them, we move to Bulgaria, who were #1 in the odds before their song even dropped. Why, you might ask? Well they've finished in the top 5 for the past two consecutive years, including the transcendent BOP that is If Love Was A Crime by Poli Genova. 

Unlike said entry, 'Bones' didn't grab me straight away. At first I was put off by the pretentiousness of the Bulgarian delegation's pretentious-ass promo strategy - everything from the name 'EQUINOX' to their official twitter referring to the act as not a band, but a 'common framework.' BS aside, this song packs quite the punch,  especially in the production department. 

My concern with this entry is that it could quite easily be a total car crash. With 5 vocalists and not a whole lot of actual harmonies, this could really end up falling flat, both vocally and visually. My hope is that they put Zhana Bergendorff and her wonderful voice front and centre, but let's see...


Czech Republic - Mikolas Josef - "Lie To Me"
Semi final: 1
My score: 7/10
Chances of qualifying: 8/10
Can it make the top 10? Yes.
Can it win? I hope not.

One of the fan favourites straight out of the gate, the hype surrounding this track has barely died down since January, which is pretty impressive. What makes it more impressive is that this is an entry from the Czech Republic, who have famously struggled with the televote in the past - and no, I'm still not over them getting zero from the televote back in 2016 with the glorious 'I Stand'.

In all honesty, I think the only reason why this is so popular is the surprise factor of the Czech Republic sending a contemporary pop song sung by a young, charismatic male artist. This is a bit white-boy-trying-to-be-a-Jason-Derulo for my taste but I still bop on occasion...


The Netherlands - Waylon - "Outlaw In 'Em"
Semi final: 2
My score: 6/10
Chances of qualifying: 9/10
Can it make the top 10? Yes.
Can it win? Nah.

Despite finding this incredibly grating on first listen (for several reasons), I've come to appreciate this entry a lot more recently - albeit just for the fact that it contributes to this year's impressive genre diversity. On top of that, this has a great melody and an instantly recognisable hook that will get the public on side.

My issue(s)? Well, aside from the fact that Waylon seems far more interested in plugging his album than the contest itself, I find this ever-so-slightly tacky in its delivery. Of course, I'm not a fan of country music at the best of times so this was never gonna light my fire. There's also something quite...I dunno...'embracing dad' about his whole Nashville cosplay act? Regardless of my opinion, I can see this reaching the left-hand-side of the leaderboard on Saturday night, although I'd rather it didn't...


Norway - Alexander Rybak - "That's How You Write A Song"
Semi final: 2
My score: 3/10
Chances of qualifying: 9/10 :/
Can it make the top 10? Yes. :/
Can it win? Yes, this screams 'accidental winner' :/

Urgh...this. I'm against the idea of former winners returning to the Eurovision in general (unless you're Germany's Lena, that is), but ESPECIALLY when they come back with a turd of a song - like this. Alexander Rybak's 'Fairytale', despite having the largest statistical victory in the history of the contest, is actually a pretty polarising winner. As someone who wasn't too keen on the song to begin with (which won back in 2009 - the first Eurovision I remember watching in full), the fact that he has decided to return leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. 

Embarrassingly simplistic, jarring, cheap, annoying...and almost cynical in how basic and primitive it all is...I have no doubt this will be lapped up by the public. I almost respect how calculated this all is. And before you think the juries can kill this, remember that the sheer power of his name, which is known even by passing Eurovision fans, will guarantee it some jury points too. Depressing, huh? 


Romania - The Humans - "Goodbye"
Semi final: 2
My score: 4/10
Chances of qualifying: 6/10
Can it make the top 10? No.
Can it win? God no.

From one of the few entries this year that I actively dislike to another, we move to Romania's mess of a song. If I had to describe this in a word, it would be FRUMPY - the band is frumpy, 'The Humans' is perhaps the frumpiest band name I've ever seen, the outfit change in the national final performance was frumpy and, yes, the song itself is frumpy. 

To expand my vocabulary ever-so-slightly - this is a dated, tacky, dull mess. It's always a rough time when the 6th best song in the national final (at best) ends up winning, but the fact that it won the televote is even more frustrating. Imagine picking up the phone and voting for a song as useless as this? Cannot relate, as won't millions of viewers during semi final 2 (I hope). Although, since Romania has both a strong diaspora and a 100% qualification record, I'm worried this will sneak through to the final despite being objectively bland.

To end on a positive, she has a lovely voice. So that's something.


Until next week, here's a recap of the numbers so far:

Semi 1 (by chances of qualification)
*1. Czech Republic - Mikolas Josef - "Lie To Me" - 8
*1. Belgium - SENNEK - "A Matter of Time" - 8
3. Bulgaria - EQUINOX - "Bones" - 7.5
4. Azerbaijan - Aisel - "X My Heart" - 6
5. Albania - Eugent Bushpepa - "Mall" - 4.5
6. Belarus - Alekseev - "Forever" - 4.5

Semi 2 (by chances of qualification)
1. Norway - Alexander Rybak - "That's How You Write A Song"
*2. Denmark - Rasmussen - "Higher Ground" - 9
*2. The Netherlands - Waylon - "Outlaw In 'Em" - 9
4. Australia - Jessica Mauboy - "We Got Love" - 8
5. Moldova - DoReDos - "My Lucky Day" - 7.5
6. Romania - The Humans - "Goodbye" - 6

Overall ranking so far (by personal score)

1. Belgium - SENNEK - "A Matter of Time" - 9
2. Denmark - Rasmussen - "Higher Ground" - 8.5
3. Bulgaria - EQUINOX - "Bones" - 8
4. Moldova - DoReDos - "My Lucky Day" - 8
5. Australia - Jessica Mauboy - "We Got Love" - 7.5
6. Azerbaijan - Aisel - "X My Heart" - 7.5
7. Albania - Eugent Bushpepa - "Mall" - 7
8. Czech Republic - Mikolas Josef - "Lie To Me" - 7
9. The Netherlands - Waylon - "Outlaw In 'Em" - 6
10. Belarus - Alekseev - "Forever" - 6
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Friday 16 March 2018

Eurovision 2018 song reviews (part 1) - Albania, Azerbaijan, Belarus, Australia, Denmark, Moldova.

Um...hi!

Yes, just when you thought I had finally given up on this blog, the power of Eurovision compelled me to come back. It is no secret that I love Eurovision, so this year I thought I'd try to expand my coverage beyond just a few posts before the final.


What many people don't know is that there's way more to Eurovision than just the big show on a Saturday night in mid-May. Indeed, the Eurovision Song Contest is actually a 5-month affair starting from the first national selection shows for entries in January and concluding with post-final analysis in May. Though many don't tune in until the very end, nerds like me follow the process from start to finish, including streaming various native-language semi finals on Saturday nights...instead of going out and socialising like a regular person.


Anyway, I did all that for the past couple of months so you don't have to, you're welcome! Fast forward to the 12th of March, and we finally have our 43 participating entries - a combination of national final winners and internally-selected artists, culminating in one of the most linguistically and stylistically diverse contests we've seen in recent years, with 14 non-English languages being represented and genres ranging from metal, opera and ethno-folk to your typical Eurovision power ballads and eurobangers. There is truly something for everyone.


Inspired by one of my favourite Eurovision content providers, ESCInsight, I have decided to adopt a similar format to their excellent 'Jukebox Jury' podcast series, in which a panel come together to discuss 6-7 entries per week in the run-up to the contest, and judge them by an arbitrary 'Hit', 'Miss' or 'Maybe' scale. So with eight weeks to go, I will be reviewing 3 songs from each semi final every Friday (hopefully), before writing up some predictions for the semi and grand final shows during Eurovision week. It's a daunting task but I love talking about Eurovision, so I'm determined to see this through.


So without further ado...


Albania - Eugent Bushpepa - "Mall"


Semi final: 1

My score: 7/10
Chances of qualifying: 4.5/10
Can it make the top 10? No.
Can it win? No.

As the first song selected for this year's contest, I've had plenty of time for Albania's entry to gradually grow on me. Unfortunately for Eugent, you only have one shot to impress voters across Europe, and I fear that this isn't instant enough to compel people vote this into the final. Albania's Festivali i Këngës was one of the few national selections that I didn't follow at all, so I cannot say that there were any more competitive alternatives, especially considering Albania's past entries (no shade, I like a lot of them).


As for positives, I love that Albania is finally sending a song in Albanian, instead of selecting great native language song and butchering it by translating it into English...badly. Unfortunately for them, a lot of other countries got the same memo and this year now has one of the most diverse set of songs we've had in ages, with double the number of native language entries than we had last year.


In summary, this is a good song by a great vocalist, but unfortunately, Armenia are in the same semi final with a better draw, a better song and a better singer. Semi final 1 is a bloodbath of a semi final, so I don't see this making the final, which is a shame.




Azerbaijan - Aisel - "X My Heart"


Semi final: 1

My score: 7.5/10
Chances of qualifying: 6/10
Can it make the top 10? Highly doubt it.
Can it win? No.

This is a difficult one. Azerbaijan is one of the strongest and most consistent participating Eurovision countries, having never failed to qualify in its 10-year history at the contest. However, this song is uncharacteristically weak by Azeri standards - it's generic, it's a bit basic and it's a waste of an excellent and talented artist, who could've brought something really spectacular to the contest if she stuck to her usual style of ethno-jazz. Oh, and the lyrics are AWFUL...


All that being said, this is a bop. The chorus is one of the most instant out of all the 43 songs and I have no doubt that Aisel's fantastic vocals will elevate this when it gets to Lisbon. As I said earlier, semi 1 is a bloodbath and there are no guarantees, so Azerbaijan need to pull their finger out, or else this could easily not qualify in such a strong selection of entries. The fact that they revamped the production merely days after its first release tells me that the delegation itself is as worried as I am. Will this be Azerbaijan's first ever non-qualifier? It will depend on the staging...




Belarus - Alekseev - "Forever"


Semi final: 1

My score: 6/10
Chances of qualifying: 4/10
Can it make the top 10? No.
Can it win? No.

From an excellent vocalist to...Belarus' Alekseev. The instrumental for this song is actually kinda great - very Eastern, very well-produced...it's just a shame that he cannot seem to be able to sing a single note in-tune live. I'm not a fan of his vocals even when he's autotuned to shit in the studio cut, so maybe his voice just isn't for me...?


With better male singers in this semi and a lack of potential for Eastern Bloc voting...I really don't see this qualifying, despite this being bizarrely popular with fans. His staging in the national selection was the only thing I liked about this, so maybe that could carry him through? But I sincerely hope it doesn't, because the man cannot fucking sing.




Australia - Jessica Mauboy - "We Got Love"


Semi final: 2

My score: 7.5/10
Chances of qualifying: 8/10
Can it make the top 10? Yes.
Can it win? It's a long shot, but I'm not gonna rule it out completely.

Before I talk about the song, lemme just get some ground rules out of the way - no one is allowed to ask 'wait, what is Australia doing at the Eurovision??!' anymore. It has been four years, it's beyond tired at this point. Quite frankly, I don't care what new country participates, as long as they bring quality entries (which Australia do - mostly) and they're members of the European Broadcasting Union (EBU) (which Australia are), I have no complaints.


Last year, their entry was terrible, got a measly 2 points from the televote and yet got dragged all the way to the top 10 by the damn juries. This year, I sincerely hope that they can get the backing of the televote like they did back in 2016. Since Jessica is a seasoned and charismatic performer with an anthemic slice of empowerment pop, I think they might just do that. I wouldn't be surprised if this ended up being Australia's 4th top 10 entry in a row. I didn't even particularly care for this when I first heard it, but now it has become stuck in my head and I cannot seem to get it out - which for a Eurovision song is almost always a good sign...




Denmark - Rasmussen - "Higher Ground"


Semi final: 2

My score: 8.5/10
Chances of qualifying: 9/10
Can it make the top 10? Yes.
Can it win? Yes, I think this is a dark horse.

If you were wondering what Tormund Giantsbane was doing to pass the time now that Game of Thrones is on a two-year break, you now have your answer. In one of the rare moments where my pick to win actually won, I was delighted to see this viking bop triumph in Dansk Melodi Grand Prix back in February. I heard the studio cut in the run up to the selection and I was instantly hooked by its polished production and sweeping chorus. 


This is anthemic, epic, fresh and has a broad, universal appeal that I believe will see it sail (ha) straight into the final and quite possibly into the top 10 on Saturday night. They haven't nailed the staging quite yet, but with the stage in Lisbon literally being in the shape of a boat, I have faith that the staging will be as epic as this song deserves.




Moldova - DoReDos - "My Lucky Day"


Semi final: 2

My score: 8/10
Chances of qualifying: 7.5/10
Can it make the top 10? Yes, whether you want it to or not.
Can it win? No.

Okay, unpopular opinion but I bloody love this. Frequently found at the bottom of most fans' rankings this year, I place this ditty in my top 20. Sure, this may not be particularly fresh or current, and yes, it's incredibly cheesy...but a bop is a bop. I would even go as far as to say that the chorus is one of the best in the competition this year - it's huge and insanely catchy.


This is a lot of fun and the staging concept will for sure help this to stand out. Nobody expected Moldova's entry last year (the banger that is 'Hey Mamma') to do particularly well, and yet it finished in the top 3. In a semi final full of lacklustre songs and ballads, I can see this standing out from the pack and booking Moldova yet another spot in the final.




So there you have it! 6 down, 37 to go...next week I will be reviewing 6 more entries and rating their chances in the contest. And because I love making lists, here's a bunch of 'em:


Semi 1 (by chances of qualification)

1. Azerbaijan - Aisel - "X My Heart" - 6
2. Albania - Eugent Bushpepa - "Mall" - 4.5
3. Belarus - Alekseev - "Forever" - 4.5

Semi 2 (by chances of qualification)

1. Denmark - Rasmussen - "Higher Ground" - 9
2. Australia - Jessica Mauboy - "We Got Love" - 8
3. Moldova - DoReDos - "My Lucky Day" - 7.5

Overall ranking so far (by personal score)

1. Denmark - Rasmussen - "Higher Ground" - 8.5
2. Moldova - DoReDos - "My Lucky Day" - 8
3. Australia - Jessica Mauboy - "We Got Love" - 7.5
4. Azerbaijan - Aisel - "X My Heart" - 7.5
5. Albania - Eugent Bushpepa - "Mall" - 7
6. Belarus - Alekseev - "Forever" - 6

See the rest of my ESC 2018 reviews below: